Cuddle umbrella

He's so forgetful! It's a good thing I remembered my umbrella because he didn't remember his. But it's okay because at least we have one and it's not plastic like all those other people walking past. They have no style, or they're forgetful.

We walk down the Hondori out of the rain again. They sky is dark, but it's always dark during the rainy season. It's not hot, like it should be in July. I'm glad I have this day off with him. We look very smart together. He's only a little bit taller than me. I worry that I'm too tall for a girl and that no one else will want me. I slouch a little, something I'm used to.

But I'm not on the Hondori next to my forgetful boyfriend. I'm standing with my classmates at the closing ceremony before winter vacation. It's freezing in the gym and my uniform doesn't have pockets to keep a heating pack in. My mother wanted me to wear one under my coat but if Risa were to see me wearing a heating pack like an old woman she'd never let me hear the end of it. I'm looking over my classmates, a head taller than some. My legs feel weak, awkward under me. I close my eyes for a moment, trying to will myself to be shorter. I picture myself shrinking down, slowly getting lower to the ground. Everyone turns to look at me, smiles on their faces. They are so proud, so happy for me to be on their level at last. The girls in my class who sometimes crack jokes about my height all smile and the boys in my class all get nervous around me, but it's a good kind of nervous. I've become kawaii* at last, a daisy instead of a sunflower. There's a tap on my shoulder and the only real thought in my head is how sad I am that I'm still a sunflower. That the girls will still crack jokes about my height and that the boys are only nervous around me because I'm freakishly the same height as them.

"Let's go to Parco." He says pulling my hand a little. Has he been talking this whole time and I've zoned out? Great, then I'll be the un-kawaii tall girl who ignores her boyfriend. At least I have one good feature; I always remember my umbrella. To get to Parco we must walk through the downpour, past the Starbucks where all the people looking in the window will no doubt think me an oddity, though many of them will never say it out loud.

But in a moment of fierce pride in my one shining positive quality, I wrap my arm around him and darw him in close to me under my umbrella. To those who will stare, this looks odd. I should at least give them the illusion that he is the one who remembers the umbrella. But if I am also without an umbrella, what am I? I'm just an un-kawaii sunflower who forces her long suffering boyfriend to shelter her. But he is nervous around me in a good way so I will wrap my arms around him and make sure he stays dry.


This was inspired by a couple I saw on the hondori. Usually when a couple is huddled under an umbrella the man is pulling the woman under the umbrella. This was the first time in Japan I'd seen a woman holding the man under the umbrella. They were about the same height, the woman looking a bit taller in her heels. This first attempt's a bit clunky, still trying to find the tone.